


Don't Let Her Be Dead

by BladeOfRebellion



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27511645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BladeOfRebellion/pseuds/BladeOfRebellion
Summary: Waiting in the hospital wing while Hermione is unconscious after the attack in the Department of Mysteries, Harry has a grave realization about everything she has done for him in his life.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Harry Potter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 78





	Don't Let Her Be Dead

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you that frequent Fanfiction.net, this will be a repost from my account there, since I only recently created an AO3 account. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy!

_‘Don’t let her be dead… don’t let her be dead…’_

Those were the words that kept repeating inside Harry’s mind as he sat, unmoving in the hospital wing at the dead of night, beside the bed where Hermione currently laid unconscious. She had been as such for the past two days, ever since she was attacked with that purple curse at the Department of Mysteries. Ron, Luna, Neville, and Ginny had been treated and allowed to leave within the first few hours of their return, and even he had been allowed to leave after a full day since Madam Pomfrey had wanted to keep him overnight given his large history of injuries, but Hermione was still fighting for her life, even as Pomfrey kept trying different healing spells.

Harry had sneaked into the hospital wing with his Invisibility Cloak after it was late enough that everyone else was asleep. He knew his mind would be too plagued with images of what happened at the Ministry to get any restful sleep. Even now though, after having watched his godfather Sirius get killed, fought off possession by Voldemort himself, and been told by Dumbledore after returning that his ultimate destiny was either to kill Voldemort or to be killed by Voldemort, his thoughts were most haunted by that one specific moment: watching the curse pass through Hermione. He recalls the horror of it hitting her, the pain of listening to her subdued “Oh,” and the agony of watching her fall, completely unconscious. Had Neville not had the foresight to check for her pulse, Harry most likely would have continued to stand there frozen until one of the Death Eaters had cursed him as well.

_‘Don’t let her be dead…’_

He felt unyielding shame and disgust at himself for having led her into such a huge trap, especially after she had explicitly told him it could be as such. But she was so loyal, so trusting and caring of him, that she was willing to go with him anyway just because she knew that Sirius was the only real family he had left (the Dursleys may have been relatives, but they were certainly **not** family). As he sat watching over her, his thoughts started going to all of his previous ordeals and the part Hermione played in them.

First year, she was instrumental in helping him get to the Philosopher’s Stone in time to save it from Voldemort. She had been able to quickly solve the potions logic puzzle, which Harry knew he would have either taken too much time or just have killed himself with the wrong potion if she hadn’t been there. What he remembers most, though, is the crushing hug from Hermione before he moved on to where Quirrell and Voldemort were waiting. It was the first time he could remember having someone show such open affection and care towards him.

Second year, she got herself petrified after realizing Slytherin’s monster was a basilisk and trying to warn him and Ron. Harry recalls all the times he sat beside her in the hospital, and the shame at not having any idea what to do once she wasn’t with him. He remembers the hope that sprang in his chest after finding the page about basilisks in Hermione’s clenched hand. And then, after the basilisk had been slain, it was the total elation upon seeing her enter the Great Hall and then giving him a rib-cracking hug, one that he had been afraid he may never receive again while she was petrified.

Third year… oh, how Harry wished he had acted differently. He should never have ignored her for months over the incidents with the Firebolt and Scabbers. The Firebolt especially tore at him because, even though it would have been better had she talked to him first before going to McGonagall, not only had she just been trying to keep him safe and proved how much she cared for his well-being, but she was also completely right about the Firebolt having been from Sirius! How could any of them have known at the time that Sirius truly did not wish harm on Harry, especially considering Harry was nearly jinxed off his broom in first year, attacked by the rogue Bludger in second year, and then fell off his old Nimbus due to the presence of Dementors in the first match of third year? Instead, he ignored her and placed the ability to play Quidditch over both his own life and her friendship. And even after the horrific way he had treated Hermione, once they found out Sirius was his godfather, she still broke Ministry laws to use her Time-Turner so that the two of them could rescue Sirius!

Fourth year, who in the entire school showed more loyalty towards Harry than Hermione? She was the only person to believe that he hadn’t put his name into the Goblet of Fire, and she took out time before the first task in order to prepare him. Harry knew there was no one else that would have stayed with him for hours just so he could perfect the Summoning Charm. And how had he repaid her? By accepting Ron’s not-even-an-apology after he retrieved the egg in the first task. By procrastinating with the second task even when she checked on him to see if he was making progress. By helping Ron to ruin her night at the Yule Ball because he hadn’t stood up for her when Ron called her a traitor and made her cry for going with Viktor Krum.

Finally, fifth year, so many things in just the last year. Her worry for him when she flung herself to him in a hug once he arrived at Grimmauld Place after the Dementor attack. The concern she would show over his scar pains. The blackmail of Rita Skeeter in order to publish his own words about Voldemort to counter the _Daily Prophet_. Helping him with teaching students in the D.A. so they could get around Umbridge’s horrible teaching. Coming to find him at Grimmauld Place during the Christmas holidays even when she could have been spending time with her parents. The hope in her eyes that he might spend a single night knitting with her. Her pleading to him about treating the vision of Sirius at the Ministry as a trap. Her ingenuity in stopping Umbridge from using the Cruciatus Curse on him.

Harry’s chest started growing tight, and he was fighting back the tears that were coming to his eyes as he recalled everything Hermione had done for him. And this stay in the hospital wing, fighting on the edge of death, was her only reward, could very well be her **final** reward.

_‘How could I have been so blind, so unfailingly **stupid** ,’_ Harry thought as he continued to watch Hermione. _‘To have taken for granted this person who has shown how deeply she cares for my life. It shouldn’t have taken me this long to see it, when it may already be too late. I wouldn’t be alive today without her. Please, I can’t lose her because of my stupidity, please.’_

With that thought, Harry could sit still no longer. He shifted the chair as close to the bed as he could, and took Hermione’s limp left hand into both of his. He opened his mouth to talk to her, but nothing came out as he was still fighting back the tears. _‘You have to do this,’_ his thoughts said, and with that, he was able to force himself to speak.

“I’m sorry,” he sputtered in a watery sob. “I’m so sorry, Hermione. You’ve been beside me for so long, helping me and caring for me when no one else did, even when I took you for granted or outright ignored you. I’ve led you and others into so much danger, and you’re the one paying the price for it.

“I can’t… I would be so lost without you. I **already** feel lost because I’m so worried about you. So please, I need you to wake up. I can’t lose you, my best friend, the most important person in my life. Even if you hate me for as long as you live, I would rather you be alive to hate me than be dead from caring about me. So **please** … wake up, Hermione.

“Please wake up… please wake up…” And he could hold the tears back no longer, as he hung his head and closed his eyes in despair, repeatedly whispering those three little words, as though chanting them was the only way that Hermione would survive.

He had no idea how long he sat there holding her hand, crying onto the bed and praying that Hermione would live.

And then… his mind froze, and it felt as though his heart stopped.

Because he could feel her hand squeezing back.

Hope soared in him like he had never felt before, as he slowly raised his head up. And he saw the most beautiful pools of chocolate brown staring back at him.

As his eyes widened and his mouth fell open once their gazes met, she whispered, “Hello, Harry” and gave the sweetest smile he had ever seen.

That was all it took, as he immediately sat down on the bed and lunged for her, getting a surprised squeak out of her as he embraced her as tight as he could while being mindful of her injuries. As Harry felt her own arms slowly make their way around to hold him, he couldn’t help but burst into tears again.

“You’re awake. You’re really awake…” he cried to her.

“I’m here, Harry. And I promise you… you won’t ever lose me.”

He pulled back just enough that he could look down at her face, with a confused gaze. She responded to his question before he could even form it in his mind.

“Somehow, when you held my hand, I felt your touch in the darkness, though I didn’t know it was you. But then, I heard you. I heard what you said about taking me for granted, leading us into danger, feeling lost out of worry… calling **me** the most important person in your life. That gave me the strength in the darkness to try and will myself to wake up, I knew there was no way I could sit back and leave you alone after hearing that.”

Harry closed his eyes and let out a soft chuckle, not being able to speak as his tongue was caught in his throat from the overwhelming happiness he was feeling. His eyes snapped back open, though, when he felt her hand upon his cheek.

“Harry, you were my first friend, you are my best friend,” Hermione whispered, her own eyes beginning to shine with tears. “You’re the most important person in my life, too. That’s why I’ll always be by your side, through thick and thin. You’ve never led me anywhere that I didn’t want to be in the first place. Because I couldn’t bear to lose **you** from my life.”

Harry could hold back no longer as she began openly crying. He placed his own hands on Hermione’s cheeks and began softly wiping away her tears with his thumbs. She smiled and looked at him with such gratefulness in her eyes that he felt his heart would burst. As they sat there, gazing at each other, Harry realized that the one thing he wanted to do most in the world now was to make sure that Hermione was happy, no matter what it took. And, because Gryffindors charge ahead, that realization led him to whisper another three little words.

“I love you.”

Hermione gasped, her mouth falling open, eyes wide like the ocean.

“I’m sorry it took so long, almost too long, to realize just what you mean to me. And I’m so lucky that I was given another chance to do so. You’ve done so much for me since our friendship began that Halloween night in first year, and I’ve been terrible at doing the same for you. But now, I know how important you are to me, and all I want is to do whatever it takes for you to be happy. I know I have Voldemort to deal with, and there are some things I need to talk to you about later regarding him, but I ultimately want to do everything I can to destroy him and make sure you and I won’t ever have to lose each other. Because I want to know what it would be like to have a normal life with you, for us to grow old, happy, and healthy. I…

“I love you, Hermione Granger,” he choked out.

As she gaped at him, he shut his eyes and looked away, worried that she may still not feel the same, or that it was too soon to have confessed that not only after the sudden realization of his feelings but also after she had only just woken up from being unconscious for days. Yet another part of him was still afraid that he was undeserving of even her friendship, much less her love, and that the threat of Voldemort in his life would be enough that she couldn’t, or **wouldn’t** , return his feelings.

Of course, like most troubles in his life, leave it to Hermione to be able to pull him out.

“Harry… look at me. Please,” he heard in the most tender tone anyone had ever taken with him. Knowing that he couldn’t refuse her, he turned his gaze back towards her. At first, the sight of her leaking tears frightened him nearly back to despair. Then, however, he realized that she was also wearing the most beautiful smile he had ever seen on anyone, and his entire being once again filled with hope.

“I want that too,” she quietly said. “I want to live a long life with you by my side. No matter what Voldemort and his Death Eaters throw at us, and no matter what terrible thing it is you need to tell me that involves you and him, I’ll stand right there beside you and do all in my power to kill that monster even if everyone else has given up, because I trust you. I believe in you.

“I love you, Harry Potter,” she proclaimed. And she grabbed the back of his neck, brought his face down to hers, and kissed him with everything she had.

Of all the things that could have happened this night when he sneaked into the hospital wing, **this** was surely the most unexpected. But Harry was filled with such joy and euphoria that Hermione was not only awake and alive but wanted **him** , that he was done questioning himself and happily returned the kiss. He opened his mouth, and she immediately met his tongue with hers, and God help him if kissing Hermione Granger wasn’t the most amazing feeling in the world!

The two continued their passionate kiss until Hermione had to break away for oxygen, due to her injuries. Harry stared back down at Hermione as they panted, and neither of them needed to say anything, as they could both see the expression of love in each other’s eyes. The two stayed like that for many minutes, gazing at each other, neither wanting to move an inch to end this moment.

Finally, Harry broke the silence and sighed, “I should really go get Madam Pomfrey. Now that you’re awake, she’ll be able to do more to make sure you get fully healed from that curse. As he made to get off the bed, Hermione stopped him by grabbing his face and holding his cheeks. He was puzzled at her fearful look.

“Will you… will you stay here, even if she tries forcing you to leave?” She bit her lower lip, conveying her nervousness about her question.

He smiled at her, and then leaned down to give her a chaste, affectionate kiss on the lips, and gently pressed his forehead to hers.

“Always, love. Always.” She began to relax and smile at his remark, and simply gave a small nod.

She allowed Harry to leave the bed that time, and she watched him as he went towards Madam Pomfrey’s office. He turned back to her one final time as he was halfway to the door, and the two shared another happy smile before he went back to his task. Hermione gave a content sigh as she settled back down against her pillow, waiting for the matron to return and fuss over her now that she was awake again, too happy to care about whatever spells or potions it would take to get completely healed.

Despite everything that had happened just nights before, Harry couldn’t help feeling more optimistic than ever before in his life as he reached Madam Pomfrey’s door. He knew for certain that not only would he have at least one person with him in his struggle against Voldemort, but more importantly, that Hermione wanted the chance to live a long, normal life with him after killing Voldemort. Whatever this “power the Dark Lord knows not” from the prophecy actually ends up being, he knew that this newly discovered love between Hermione and himself would be what truly drives him to end Voldemort and free up their lives to grow old and content.

_‘She’s alive, and she loves me. I’ll make sure she’ll never forget what she means to me, from this day forth,’_ he thought. Knocking on the door to wake up Pomfrey, and awaiting her punishment for sneaking into the hospital wing, he couldn’t help but smile and give a satisfied sigh as he thought, for possibly the first time ever in his troubled life, that maybe all it takes is a single light in the darkness for one to believe that things can turn around.

THE END


End file.
